My Life...^^

2010-11-21T13:12:00.002+08:00

With a given time frame, I've got SO MUCH things to complete.. very sian... On top of that, I still have no clue as to where I would go after graduation. this gives me extra headache as semester is coming to an end. I've got like... less than 12weeks to seriously think about it.. -.-"

Shits piles up every single day... Thought maybe a good friend of two can cheer me up despite going through all this shit, but 1 spoiled brat is good enough to crumble your mood of the day. the you-know-who i'm talking about... should really SEE MY GREY NAILS!

sch stuff to be completed:

1. human motor essay - by 24th Nov (wed)

2. 10 freaking weekly log - by Jan 2011?

3. 1 freaking LONG FYP REPORT(1000words) - by Jan 2011?

4. 2 more freaking UT(human motor and sports coaching)

all this shit just couldn't go away.. and shit just always happen to pile up till the toilet bowl is full! FUCK STRESS! FUCK SHIT!

2010-11-15T23:44:00.005+08:00

Thank God that both of us are not an item... I felt awkward to be in his presence again. Perhaps we have not seen each other for a long while, the connection is gone. We almost spoke nothing in significance and for a moment, I thought, we've just wasted a day out... Nothing was purchased, though the idea of getting something was there...

How could this ever happened? Technically speaking, nothing should happened but why in the world would I still cling on to that moment when we had our best time together? It puzzled me even right till now...

It's time to let go and move on.. but easy said than done... I wish I could "abandon" everything about him and live a new life... Can I?

I wish that I will not find chances to meet him out, let's keep a distance for each other. that might help significantly for me,and perhaps for you as well?

2010-11-12T01:08:00.002+08:00

心寒。。。。

I'm starting to miss my sweetheart... how?

Life's been fluctuating ever since July....

when can my heart cease the wave and remain calm?

"Smile, what's the use of crying... You'll find that life is still worthwhile"

2010-09-19T23:17:00.004+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVTtA7EZ1S4

No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up to
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word

'Cause there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's
nothing in this world I can't be
I'd never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

If I could freeze the moment in my mind
Be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock make time stand still
'Cause baby this is just the way I always wanna feel

'Cause there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's
nothing in this world I can't be
I'd never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

I don't know how or why
I feel different in your eyes
All I know is that it happens every time

'Cause there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's
nothing in this world I can't be
I'd never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

2010-08-15T12:45:00.004+08:00

It's been a long while since this place is ever viewed again.. how's everybody's doing this days?Many things have changed and many decisions were made... I am totally a different person now..(: I wish life could be a bed of roses, where you dont need to worry for troubles and meeting dead end... But yet, that's not the cases...

Anyway, I've moved on and this place shall be archive for as long as....I don't know, perhaps till the day when I feel that I'd dropback a little and replay "My Life".

Till then,

Love you guys with all of my heart,

Jasmine Toh (hwa hwa -> huahua)

2010-02-25T02:08:00.004+08:00

Is taking a break the right decision to find back loving connection between us?

It seemed like I've made a wrong choice...

Things has been running dry... Even over the phone...

"Whenever we seek God, we bring ourselves altogether, our flesh, soul and spirit to His altar and meet Him. Intervention can then be done..."

Am I coming back to the heart of reconciliation?

I need hugs and assurance...

2010-02-23T11:55:00.002+08:00

well... I was definitely fascinated by the marriage of Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi.

The love and connection is so important between couples because it is going to determine whether if there is any future between them and I really envied the connection both the couple had.. they may be gay but they deserves the respect from me.. Not trying promote gay here but I appreciate the love connection they've found. . . 3 years may seemed short but this was their crucial and precious moment..

I felt happy for them. (:

2010-02-23T02:22:00.004+08:00

Familiar Print...

Suddenly... thought of my past...

past relationships, past experiences

those are the memories that are hard to be erased

seems like an imprint on the ceiling of my heart

how far can i ever be able to reach and wipe it off?...

imprints which runs like a skit

it doesn't have its on "STOP" button... only "REWIND"

music sings by itself the moment when skit runs...

"sarang hae... Oh.. Sarang hae..."

I wondered if he ever exist now

to lie beside me and watch this skit together

how much i've desired to see your face again

how I yearn to rest my heart

how desperate I am to be convinced that both our heart are still connected...

Few days ago,

I happened to recognize your footprint in the forest

how familiar...

how close to my heart...

I wondered if you're walking towards the light

I wondered if the weather has gone bad

I wondered if you are still as strong

I wondered if you remember me...

I wondered....

2010-02-19T12:12:00.003+08:00

Year 2010...

Browsing through my previous entries, I remembered writing something like this...

Year 2009: 力不从心....
Year 2010: 值不值得呢？?

FYI, Year 2010 is a special year as I am going to celebrate my very first 20th birthday. Thinking about my past, earlier this year, I was contemplating about growth and i wondered if time could have just paused at age 19th and that's it... but no... we're all created to grow up, to grow young, into maturity by age, and hopefully grow old with wisdom... Year 20 seemed like I've grown so much, hmmmz, 2 decade much? that's alot, I tell you... imagine you would have done your time calculation, you've lived in this world more "xxxx" hours and there are more to come...

Year 2010 seems to be a special year for me. I do not know what has installed for me this year but I felt that something big and happening is going to happen and it will change me for the rest of my life... what could it be? school graduation? further studies at other fields? new member in family? less 1 member in family? break-up/patch up? new guy friend? new girlfriend? I don't know...

I was reading through elaine's blog and I felt so touched by her simple words... Parents worked their lived off just to provide the best for me to study in good institutions. they have sacrificed so much for me... who else could have done the same thing for me? close to none... and my grandma, I guess she has done her best in raising her child to become who they are today... it's time for her to enjoy life now and get some good rest... If ever I could say a vow, I promise that I would take care of her as much as I can. She is old now... ...

2010-01-30T19:14:00.002+08:00

i'm tired... physically tired... emotionally drained... mentally taxing... I need a break...

2010-01-23T13:43:00.005+08:00

Ah ma... you know that I can never let go of your hands... Let me be there for you...

2010-01-17T22:10:00.004+08:00

My friend, anointed One... Most holy...

Praise the Lord! We've finally gotten our promised land! Tears, joy and praise ran all over B4 yesterday while Pastor Kong announced the news(:

I guess what's more important now is the coming building fund. I thought to myself for a moment and realized that it doesn't really matter how much you give but rather this offering represents your heart toward God.

"Obedience is better than sacrifice."

I pray that year 2010 is going to the best year I've gone through in my life. In fact, I'm looking forward for blessings that has yet to come. Life is never a bed or roses. Waves of challenges is coming near me, am I really to chase after this wave and conquer it?

God shall be a driving engine, discipling and strength! (:

Greater things has yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this place!(:

2010-01-02T01:12:00.003+08:00

*Some answers to out-of-curiosity-questions which I've been searching for two and half years...

1.) The act of sexual relations may have made unmarried couple, for a moment, physically joined, but that does not mean God has joined them together as husband and wife.

2.) The Bible calls premarital sex “fornication.” It is repeatedly condemned in Scripture along with all other forms of sexual immorality

(Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 10:8; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7).

3.) The Bible promotes abstinence before marriage as the standard of godliness. Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality because they all involve having sex with someone other than your spouse.

2009-10-25T17:52:00.002+08:00

It's a cooling and cozy Sunday.
I'm at home now, browsing through my past entries at xanga and I found this...

Thursday, January 31, 2008

A sense in my heart.. Lord spoke to me. He told me to go home after work. Initially i had second thoughts. However, I obeyed His word. Thank God that I heeded his word and went home. Maddy was out with Sean and thomas.. I was about to join them but I held back. Touch my heart, ask her what was her opinion.. She said," No thanks. I would rather to stay alone, just give me some time out... Thank You..."

This entry reminds me of what God spoke to me during yesterday's service. Yesterday while I was serving, I saw "him". Without any thoughts or hesitant, I walked over and say hi. then, he replied, "Who are you?"... I was caught speechless for a moment and I said something foolish, "i'm an usher." ... then he walked off without saying anything...

I was shocked and sad.. and God spoke to me in Matt 7:21-23.
"and then I will declare to them," I never knew you; depart from Me..."

I guess it's time to really let go and let God lead my heart...

2009-10-21T00:01:00.000+08:00

Dr. M to class: "I'm ashamed by your RJ write-up. I reeeallly encourage you to write concise and short."

2nd time...

A japanese facilitator trying to encourage singaporean to write well.. ><

2009-10-15T00:45:00.015+08:00

As I was checking my emails, I came across this Fashion Show, Alexander McQueen Spring Summer 2010 Plato's Atlantis. Out of Curiosity, I checked out their video and were shocked with this chap's design~. Cool Sio!

*Electric blue!

*Bondage Jump suit!

*Chio bubbly dress!

0.0 can you even walk properly with that heels?

2009-09-27T01:22:00.001+08:00

Titus 2:6-8 (Amplified Bible)

⁶In a similar way, urge the younger men to be self-restrained and to behave prudently [taking life seriously].

⁷And show your own self in all respects to be a pattern and a model of good deeds and works, teaching what is unadulterated, showing gravity [having the strictest regard for truth and purity of motive], with dignity and seriousness.

⁸And let your instruction be sound and fit and wise and wholesome, vigorous and irrefutable and above censure, so that the opponent may be put to shame, finding nothing discrediting or evil to say about us.

2009-09-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

Titus 2:6-8 (Amplified Bible)

⁶In a similar way, urge the younger men to be self-restrained and to behave prudently [taking life seriously].

2009-09-24T16:12:00.001+08:00

Big Girls Don't Cry
Songwriters: Ferguson, Stacy; Gad, Tobias;

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection, baby
To be with myself and center
Clarity, peace, serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

The path that I'm walkin', I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and Uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine

Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers
And share our secret worlds

But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself, and center
Clarity, peace, serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

2009-09-24T01:31:00.003+08:00

After reading her blog post, I felt an outburst of tears, running down the corners of my eyes. My heart sank as mum turn away from me, avoiding questions I asked. Seeing her doing the house chore, taking care of my grandma, acting like a super woman in this house just add on the sorrows I had upon her.

To mum: you know that smoking is harmful, smoking kills… Brother is doing the same thing and why aren’t you stopping him? Why are you letting such a thing happen in this family? Where is the love I used to have when I was young? Where is the care and hugs I used to have when I was young? Where are you, mum? I can see you no more… you are fully hidden with the hard shell; possibly no one can crack open. Come back to me… come back…

To dad: you’re such a wonderful father. You may be uneducated, you may not understand much of English, but you understand what love is. You may not be an expressive person but through action, your love is naked to view. Granny is in good hand of yours. Through you, I can fully understand how to love somebody without any conditions. 我以为。。。你不疼我。。。How I wish I could say I love you too…

To brother: Remember that night we celebrated your birthday last year? You were happy yet sad. Remember that wedding dinner we attended at Mandarin Hotel? I could still remember that sad face. I’ve never seen you in such a bad state. It aches my heart too… up till the point when we discovered that you started picking up smoking habit, my heart totally sunk into deepest ocean. Why? Stress? There are more meaning to life… why such way to live life? I hate you for smoking, but I tear because I’m seeing my own brother tearing himself apart… slowly and torturously… you’re tearing my heart too…

2009-08-31T00:20:00.003+08:00

A cold news brought out of his mouth, "today will be the last day of CG meeting I have with you guys. I'll be taking over the adult CG and Irene will replace me. "

Q: Were you shocked?
A: I was in totally shocked. No doubt Shaun mentioned that he has got some important things to announce, little do I know that it was about this matter. My mind literately gone blank for 10minutes before I could think again. [o.o]

Q: Why such arrangement?
A: Adult CG needs a leader and pastor suggested & recommended Shaun to go over.

Q: Are you sad?
A: To tell the truth, I was a little sad and almost broke into tears. Shaun has been a great spiritual elder brother to me and in him, I may be able to seek quality advice. As a leader and a good friend, I love him and it was quite hard for me to take it at that point of time. And probably the CGCs have been informed about this matter much earlier, that's why they remained calmed. It was probably the last thing I would ever want to experience it again.

When I was in the position to make a choice to leave church, I made a thought and asked myself, "if i am determine to leave, I can straight away leave the door at this instant, but I can't... why?" I thought for a moment and then to realised that I've developed something, something which I don't want to risk myself losing it...

"Love kept me growing and understanding each other better. Love keeps me in a comfort space and makes me feel welcome. Love conquers every mountains of obstacles. Because of you, I found my love again. Because of you, I have found a home, a spiritual family,a family that genuinely cares for me. Despite where I came from, they accepted me for who I am. and I love them."

Q: So what are you going to do?
A: I am proud to have Shaun around. Times when Shaun makes effort to sit down and fellowship, I will get excited and I wanted to be there, just to enjoy W426 & Shaun's presences. Now that he has move on, i really hope that my emotions will not have the chance to override me and I still want to keep my focus unto the Lord.

No wonders the cards and gifts... No wonder the sudden enthusiasm of wanting a good fellowship. I had it all wrong...

2009-08-30T01:12:00.002+08:00

Ended up, we did not have CG meeting.. Shaun wasn't feeling too well on friday and he has got work to rush, therefore, at 5.15pm, he cancelled CG meeting. Poor thing.. I wondered how is feeling now. After service, just heard from Jasmine that Shuan is suffering a bad tummy ache and high fever. *sigh*

"Dear God, I pray that you'll heal shaun this instant and give him strength to pull through this period.. God, I believe that you are our Jehovah Rapha, God of our healer! AMEN"

So, instead of having CG meeting, i met up with jessie and jermaine&jiasheng for some nice fellowship in town. Jessie introduced this ice sorbet called SLICE at fareast. As much as I've shopped fareast for so long, I didn't realised such yummy dessert store and I can say that it is definitely affordable and nice! :) you guys should go down and try! it's at the basement(:
Along the way, we took lots of photo. Jessie and I were so-called the "Paparazzi" of the day.. Hahaha.. was trying to take some "nice" photos of the couple in front of us.. HAHHAHA!! we really enjoyed the fellowship and i would love to have more! :]

Saturday's service was totally awesome! as we sang "For Jenalle", I just felt that God was speaking me that Jesus loves us. As much as He has suffered on the cross, been crucified, taking up our sins for our sake, He understands our pain within us...
"Your heart was once so broken, that now I can be here.."

2009-08-28T15:01:00.003+08:00

hmmmz.. was kinda shocked to see that blogger's JavaScript has problem yet still can update post.
Anyway, UT has finally over and holiday has just began!! However, I'm starting to rot at home.. getting more and more boring and it's like the 3rd days of holiday only?? WAHH!! can die!! Let me out of the house!
But anyway, i shouldn't be complaining so much.. bro blessed McDonald for like 2 times already! X) love ya!
and today's Friday, it's CG DAY!! super happy and excited for CG meeting later! and SHAUN IS BACK TO LEAD US! really looking forward to new Rhema from God! (: I MISS YOU, GOD!

I shall update more on blog these days since I'm having my holiday. reason why i didn't update much was because I didn't have the time to do so and I'm bit lazy la.. :P
But have no worries, I'll make an effort to update daily.
Cheers, Life's great with hwahwa around! XD

2009-08-28T15:01:00.001+08:00

testing..

2009-08-22T01:54:00.003+08:00

Just came back home not long ago from CG meeting. Today's message was power pack! It was about faithfulness we have within us and I felt that God was speaking to me regarding certain issue which I guess soon you'll find out what's going on.

After CG meeting, Na, Jas, Kevin and me decided to have supper! we went to our nearby coffee shop to makan and I had Kimchi Ramien. well, not so bad, it was edible and nice:) Whereas Jas had her salty fish fried rice... hmmmz... Nice craving! hmmz... and the two guys had nothing except drinks.. haiyo...

In a few hours time, I will be heading down to church for service. haha! can't wait to enter into His house once again. I always have this anticipation for friday and saturday to come so that I can have my moment of peace out of that worldly-world and enjoy His presence. God has been good all these while, let alone hearing the testimonies of His goodness. :)

It's 2am in the morning now and I am still awake. Had a missed call just now from a withheld number again! I really wondered who is this person. Hopefully it's not a prank call. Anyway, I just wanna give a quick shout-out to a few people:

1. Jermaine: HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY YOUNG LADY! ^^
2. Jia Sheng: HAPPY **TH BIRTHDAY MANZ!
3. Uncle Sean: HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY! welcome to the club!
2. Evangeline Chua X.M: Cheer on! the sky has its own brighter as well! :)
3. Thomas Frederick the Great: you rock my socks off BABE! I LOVE YOU!
4. God: I miss You...
5. Myself: *meow*

2009-08-20T02:39:00.002+08:00

Utterly Amused...

What is this??

Hallelujah!!
:D

[O.O]

2009-08-05T09:28:00.002+08:00

Praise the Lord! My first ever "B" grade out of all UT! WTH... So difficult, can? haiyo..
Anyway, i'm actually anticipating for another "B" for Anatomy & physiology UT2... o.O

2009-08-03T16:22:00.003+08:00

Dammmnn you!!!!!
Never mind! take it.. take it..

and go! go!! take it and go!!

2009-07-23T00:43:00.008+08:00

Thank you sweetheart for that lovely sunflower! love you lots!

P.S: thankie elaine and sean for spending time with me for a simple dinner at seoul garden.. thanks for making this day to happen :)

2009-07-22T21:39:00.008+08:00

Just a quick shoutloud to: E54H & Hilario Rig. :D
Thank you guys for celebrating my birthday. Thank you for remembering this day.. :)
Love ya lots!

2009-07-19T15:02:00.005+08:00

Happy Happy birthday to me~~....! in advance...

Really felt very blessed to have people like vanessa and UM grp11 around me to celebrate my birthday! Super super touched! wanna cry liao.. *sob sob*

All this while, i've always been telling everybody that I won't want to receive anything on my birthday.. reason is because God has given me the biggest present I ever have in my life, and that is these friends around, always support me when i'm feeling low, always pray for me when i'm lost, always bring joy to me when i'm grumpy, always spend time with me to have dinner together, always go for a spin at night, always share our little secrets to each other, always handle everything together (chui also chui together), always take good care of my well-being, always stand strong despite if the world's falling apart, always (you think, i thought, who to confirm) to me, always encourage me and motivate me to move up to another level, and always in my mind...

Thankie thankie van van... (:

2009-06-27T12:41:00.000+08:00

2009-06-27T00:35:00.003+08:00

A word of promise is all I ask of You
I remembered that day
When I went down my knee
crying like a child
I was lost...

You whispered into me ears
Calming me heart
Cuddling me
It felt so warm...
Adrenaline rush through me pathway and brought me to Your secret place...

You whispered into me ears
Softly and gently...
You said, "I love You, my child..."
Me heart melted like softed-cheese
Me flesh gone weak...

Is this really You, father?
Oh... How much I long for a moment like this...

Softly and gently
You tucked me into your blossom...
You surrounded me under Your mighty wing...
You pure garment smell so sweet...

Is this really You, father?
Oh... How much I long for a moment like this...

2009-06-26T15:05:00.003+08:00

Ma sh'lomchem??

-Ma sh'lom'cha (מַה שְׁלוֹמְךָ; "what is your well-being/peace?") is a Hebrew equivalent of the English "how are you?". This is the form addressed to a single male.
-The form for addressing a single female is Ma sh'lomech?
-For addressing several females, Ma sh'lomchen?
-For a group of males or a mixed-gender group, Ma sh'lomchem?

Shalom!!

2009-06-24T21:48:00.002+08:00

1st Day of Quarantine...

3more hours to 0000 and i've forgotten how many times I've screamed "BORED!" to numerous people out there... Oh, in case you're puzzled of what's going on, I'M OFFICIALLY HOME QUARANTINED! (HQO)

It'll be another 6 days of bored-bearing period. Thank God for my mum! She specially went out to the market to help me stock up my rations, just in case this "rat" couldn't find any food at home and pass out.. hahahaha!

In lieu with daily assignment, RP has shifted class-based learning to E-learning. I am required to complete my daily assignment and submit by 2359 as usual. well, I may not be bored anymore. At least I am occupied with some work and best is that there is not time constrain. It's free-and-easy.

Alright, I'll "try" to enjoy the quarantine period. Meanwhile, I still yearn to go out to shop, makan, WATCH MOVIE, go for bible studies and service. ><

Dear God,
I wondered how Jessie is doing now. Is she feeling any better? Has she been discharged? God, I pray that she'll not fall sick again, and that she can go back to school and study. And God, I pray that you'll make full use of my time to do meaningful task.
Thank U Lord..

2009-06-24T04:09:00.003+08:00

Recently, I came to know this turkish guy.. He's definitely liberal in his thoughts and I like his attitude. So, yesterday, he requested if we could have a video conference over MSN and it really strucked me for a while before I could reply him.

Why are we, Asians, so constrained within ourselves? Why are we afraid of this, afraid of that? Why are we not as liberal as the caucasians out there? Why is there a resistance within us? Why do we feel inferior as compared with the "ang moh"? Well, is it because of our command in English language? Will they ever uderstand what an Asian is trying to say if we open our mouth? Why are we their hot topic discussion? How will they view upon us? Will we,then, be able to make good friendship with them? Will there even be any nice topic to chat with?

Blackman, Free, is a friendly guy. I managed to dig out some stuff about him and our conversation shall continue as long as none of our contacts are deleted. I maybe putting myself at risk or humiliation, but I just love observing how these people would react to Asian, or perhaps, our culture and background.

Ciaoz..

2009-06-22T15:30:00.003+08:00

"The sacrifice of God is a broken spirit...
A broken and a contrite heart...
That God do not despise.... " -Psalm 51:17

2009-06-21T21:32:00.003+08:00

"Do you think our love will bring us together?"

"Do you think our love will bring us to everywhere we want?"

- The Notebook -

2009-06-18T15:16:00.001+08:00

I wanna SLEEP... ... -.-

2009-06-08T15:27:00.003+08:00

John 11: 4
When Jesus heard that, He said, " This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it. "

I Just Want You - Planetshakers

2009-06-07T23:53:00.002+08:00

Today was totally awesome!(:

Woke up at 7.45am to prepare myself for expo service at 10am, Hall 1!
Woo~! last night i slept at 2.30am.. So, I only slept for 5hr 15min =.=
Then I met Van at Jurong east platform and Yu Sheng at Expo! heehee.. so glad to have a travel companion(:

Anyway, service was totally awesome! Pastor Mary-Alice has really spurred my heart to stand out for justice! Luke 18:1-8 speaks of the attitude of persistency. (: LOVED HER!!
Oh yea, sorry to those who has waited for me until very pek chek..
Didn't notice the time. But service was awesome!

Then we met the rest at Tanah Merah and cab-bed down to Changi Ferry Terminal?
hahaaha.. super super loved the MCs.
"Shout Get Lost!"
GET LOST LA.. heehee..

So, Jermaine, Jessie, Yusheng, Kevin and me were in team 15.. or 18?
Couldn't remember clearly but I know that our compulsory Checkpoint to clear is 18!!
haha.. then we quickly took ferry and landed on Pulau Ubin!
Me the first time!! hahaha!!
Then, we rented good bikes and set off our journey tour around Ubin!

Along the way, we knew that the Checkpoint was at that spot but the yellow board was so hard to find!! ahhh..
Anyway, Great job for all! we managed to find 4-5 CPs.
Oh yea, we were so kuku... we literately ride 1 round around the path of the don't-know-what- hut.. sianz....

But still, we were vigilant enough to find our way out!! GOOD JOB!
Oh yea, we saw a super duper huge piece of rotten fish at one of the CP, with multitude of flies dancing around... eeek!

After retrieving CP 18, all of us cycled back to the basketball court and that ended off the whole Amazing Race! It's a long and challenging journey of cycling but super cool, isn't it? ^^

It was indeed, a great insight for me as a first timer going to Ubin. No doubt we cycled according to the given map, I believe there are still alot of hidden places like the QUARRY we've yet to reveal. I really wanted to go there again and see the beautiful QUARRY!!
*shouting for VANESSA*

2009-06-04T01:14:00.003+08:00

Jabez

In the book of chronicles, Jabez was out-stood by the rest of the people. Jabez was been honourable. The Hebrew meaning of Jabez is actually "painful". It must be that Jabez is a "handicapped man". As I was reading through D.D about Jabez, I began to reflect upon myself.

Speaking of been handicapped, I think all human being are handicapped. The disabilities may not be that obvious to see but neither are we flawless. Jabez must have have knew that he was handicapped in a way and that He seeks and press in to God for He is the supplements for Jabez.
Day and night, Jabez's spiritual hunger grew even more as He becomes to pray to God. Thereafter, God hears his prayer and began to bless abundantly.

I want to be Jabez as well. So what if people look down on us? It is as equal as people looking down on themselves. I want to gain back to desire I have in Him and I want more of Him. I don't want to indulge myself with wrong doings but I want to be discerning enough to differentiate right and wrong.

2009-05-31T14:31:00.004+08:00

As I was reading through My Daily Devotion, I came across a very significant verse that says in 2Corinthians 4:16, " Therefore, do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, our inward man is been renewed day by day. "

There is a clear dividend distinct and resources in us. one is our body, the other is our spirit and soul.

Physical body will soon perish. How true can that be,right? We all know that due to external factor like polluted environment and bad consumptions, our body will deteriorates, and soon enough, our immune system will just slowly shut down.

However, i believe that our spiritual being always stay alive. It is definitely not about the food consumption, but it is the impartation of inspirations from a certain source. Our spiritual being could also be the ultimate source for us to live positively. For me, I truly believe that each time when my spiritual body puts on "weight", I'm sure going to be as healthy as before. I can daily live my life in a more meaningful and positive manner. Despite knowing that there will be people obstructing your way to that finishing line, you know that you would be encouraged by Him and He shall do a great work in you.

Continue to trust in Him as He has already input the zoe-life in you! Life's gonna be more exciting, even after death because I know that I'll be with Him forever and ever and He is lovable. (:

2009-05-21T15:40:00.002+08:00

*Knock Knock* Where are you? =.=

My little Armadillo... So cute!!^0^

Hold my hands and I'll guide you the way(:
Will You?

2009-05-13T15:34:00.007+08:00

Sweet Sweet Memories...

2009-05-13T00:29:00.002+08:00

Out of my mind,
Nothing make sense anymore...
I want you back in life...

That's all I'm breathing for...

2009-05-07T16:10:00.000+08:00

2009-04-23T22:01:00.003+08:00

"No matter what happens, do not give up. As long as you love him, everything can be resolved."

- Unknown -

AHHH!! My Anwari is back!!!!!!! OMG or Yiipieee?? ><

Facilitator, Anwari, has taught us something which i feel that it really impacted me alot. Early in the morning, when he came in, he knocked the door, walked in and apologies for been late. How coustesy he is, I thought he's a nice and soft person. However, one by one, when my classmate came in without knocking the door, he blasted off his voice, and demanded my classmate to go out, knock the door first and greet "good morning" again. I was totally in shocked!! One by one, almost 3/4 of class got reprimanded. WoW.. what a day to start off! ><

However, Anwari further clarify upon his action. He claimed that Courtesy is very important. the reason why he reprimanded us to do so was because he is trying to prepare ourselves for our furture. He's trying get us out from been too personal, to professional.

Personal

-insensible

-immature

-bias

-gets triggled easily, ANGER

-temporary basis

Professional

-striving to be perfect

-mature

-sensible

-reasonable and logical thinking

-long term basis

-follows the guidelines well

-go the extra mile to improve on

So let's throw away our immaturity and don't take it too personal, afterall, been able to be professional allows you to increase in self-confidence and been wise. :)

Wise man shall speak off wise advice from his mouth! ^0^

2009-04-22T23:59:00.002+08:00

God's program for the close of the age

Lesson 8

WHAT?
Gal 4:4
"... the fullness of the time had come..." (refers to the second coming of Jesus)
WHO?
Matt 24:36
"But My Father only..."
HOW?
Act 2:16 (Unconditional promise by God to us)

1.)God is restoring the preeminence of Jesus Christ back to the church.
John 16:13-14
"... He will guide you into all truth..."

2.)God is restoring Spiritual Warfare and Deliverance back to the church.
Obadiah 1:17

3.) God is restoring the Gifts of the Holy Spirit back to the church.
Act 17:18
"... your sons and daughters shall prohesy..."

4.) God is restoring His Church as a powerful army with every believer fining his place within the body of Christ.

- When we are scattered, we are spiritually dry. -

2009-04-17T22:31:00.002+08:00

Hallelujah~!!!
Indeed, when you start to lift up your troubles into His loving hands, God shall deal with them personally! Don't play play, hahaha... God knows what to do!
It was indeed, a refreshing experience once the moment when devil lost its battle! I felt so refreshed and less retrain my emotional bondage now!! Hallelujah!

" In Jesus name, I rebuke this devil out of my heart! Get out now!!... "

God's power is almighty! Praise the Lord! He alone shall RULE and REIGN! ^0^

2009-04-16T15:03:00.003+08:00

lolz.. I've been visting twitter often these days.. I am just somebody who hardly twit but most of us just like twiting and became a regular vistor.. haha.. perhaps I should start twitting. anyway, I'll try to update you and myself as much as possible, yup?

School's starting!! heehee.. Don't how you guys feel about school reopen. Part of me feeling excited about it because I can finally get back to study mode. But another part of me felt reluctant and tentatively wanna draw back from that anticipation and lives in her dark corner at home forever. hahaha... Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry, sometimes I get puzzled upon simple question (perhaps I thought too much), sometimes I find myself that I couldn't be bothered to reply certain questions because the answer is vividly shown right in front of them, sometimes I get irritated by igornance and tentatively enclose myself since nobody want tell me. "Never mind, it's ok. Don't want to say, fine... Come on, I've got better things to do."

Oh yea, some of my friend started their semester this week. earlier than me, sighz.. ><

Oh yea, I just ate my brother's Kinder Bueno! :P Yummy and sticky~ hehehehe.. nice..

Oh yea, I so wanna go to Settler's cafe!! Never been there before, kinda excited now~ ^^

2009-04-15T16:44:00.002+08:00

Silent tears..
System's breaking down...
Emergency help!

2009-04-13T23:57:00.002+08:00

Don't cry, yup? ^-^

Reminds me of somebody whom I know... ^0^

2009-04-13T19:00:00.002+08:00

6 more days to school re-open! Can't wait for that day to come so that my schedule will be back to normal. Certain stuff I should start doing now..

1. Change my biological body clock
2. update my 'Calendar'
3. New updates
4. Seek for more meaning activities to do
5. More dates with Chioest people!
6. Less crap
7. Serious work o.o
8. More faith
9. More strength
10. More courage
11. Get back my spectacles!!! o.O
12. Exercise~ GYM!! Anybody wanna join me? O.o"
13. Spend less.. SELF DISCIPLINE!

So far, I think that's about it. But, I believe there are more to come, so it is not going to stop here. It is always on-going. Nothing's going to change until you do something about it. AMEN!
hmmz... Suddenly I have an urge to go Cathay's Starbuck cafe and chill... ^0^

Suddenly feel like doing lots of thing... At least could you please let me get out of the house? Why?? hmmz.. It's impossible now.. hmmz... ahhhh!! Going crazy now~! o.o

2009-04-11T22:23:00.002+08:00

Talking about food, i believed those 3 cheesecakes were really a successful for me and crist! at least for me, it was my first time doing it.. heehee.. so glad to know that it was all eaten up! :D

And... Believe it or not, i've not tried Thosai before... and silly me asked joshua if Thosai comes with curry. LMAO!! no la, it's with something called "Chutney". It's like some kind of sauce, he claimed.. hmmz... Then I asked if it's sweet sauce, HE DON'T WANT TO TELL ME!!!!!

Joshua - BLOG UPDATED!!! TODAY!! says:
- lol
- you have to eat it yourself to experience it
- haha
- seriously you should go eat at an indian stall and order thosai!!

Joshua - BLOG UPDATED!!! TODAY!! says:
-lol
-but if I bring you, you must pay me
- I charge fee for service!
- hahaha

P.S: Joshua, you good~! ><

2009-04-11T18:20:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's Easter drama was awesome! Every single scene built up the atmosphere.. To the point when crucifixion was done, Jesus was nailed unto the cross. I was totally moved by God's love. Indeed, we are human and ever since when Adam has sinned against God, we've all fallen-short. However, God has sent His only begotten Son to die for us. He took up all of our sin and made us new!

During the drama, I was particularly touched when Jesus called upon Silas to touch Him.

"Remember the woman with the issue of blood? Come, stretch out and touch Me for I shall heal you..."

Silas decided to act upon His word. So, as Silas struggled through his way, crawling like a helpless cripple, he definitely reminded me of my past fallen moments.

When you are fallen, you have nowhere else to go, you are lost and you cry for help. Yet, at the same time, you don't know who to call upon for help... Praise the Lord! He has revealed himself to us, to me...

As Silas touches His strip, He was immediately healed on the spot! :)
Til then, Silas knew that it was HIM!

People asked me a question, "why do you go down for altar call?"
Yes, there may be a standard answer for all of us, in fact, it is not wrong,you're correct. However, you can call me a desperate woman or whatsoever, if there is really God who can comfort me, if there is really a God who can truly understand my pains of which I'm going through now, if there is really a God who knows all my dark secrets which cannot be revealed, if there is a God who really can give me peace, I'll go down to the altar call. I couldn't any less about the person seated beside me,whether will I embarrass myself in front of them.

If I can hurt myself physically to the extent that pain is inflicted unto my body, if i have the boldness to cry out, surely I shall the boldness to step forth and receive Christ. Well, at least I know that when I go down and pray to Him, He'll reveal himself and I shall witness Him.

Peace Upon Everybody... :]

2009-04-06T14:46:00.002+08:00

These days has been a wonderful day for me. Currently, I'm still having holiday. However, school's going to start very soon, perhaps another 14 more days to 20th April. Sometimes i wondered, what has God installed for me in the coming next 2 years or so. Is He going to put me into another trials? Is He going to stretch me like never before and expand my capacity? I seriously don't know. If I know, I can become God liao.. lolz..

But still, sometimes i would rather God keep me in mystery than revealing EVERYTHING to me.

Haha.. Last week's morning prayer meeting was,indeed, a enjoyable time spent with the Lord. It was also an open-eye experience for me even as I was serving in the House of Lord. Hmmz.. Saw lots of things happened, and learnt lots of things from diferent people. :)

Yesterday, I came across this video on TV. I was so touched by it. Maybe you should watch it as well. :]

2009-04-06T14:43:00.002+08:00

What if Science discovered a genetic cure for the moral defects of mankind?
Sin would no longer be an option...
The world would be a better place. Or so it seems.
Will this be the "Final Solution" to all the problems in society?

In this Easter drama (City Harvest Church), view your world through the eyes of the new "Messiah" as faith, science, love and choice COLLIDE ...

You're warmly invited to join us as we discover the true meaning of Easter!

APR 10 (FRI)
Singapore Expo Hall 8
5.30pm & 8pm*
1 Jurong West St 91
1pm & 3.30pm*

APR 11 (SAT)
Singapore Expo Hall 8
5.30pm* & 8pm
1 Jurong West St 91
*3.30pm

APR 12 (SUN)
Singapore Expo Hall 8
10am* & 12.30pm

*These services will be simultaneously interpreted into Mandarin

If you're interested in getting to know more about it, do contact me @ jasminetoh596@hotmail.com/91170802. ^-^

2009-03-29T21:15:00.004+08:00

Thank God for a wonderful session with Pastor Phil Pringle today. No doubt it was the same message as yesterday, it was indeed, yet another revelation to me. Wouldn't you believe that each time when you chose to make a decision to look upon God, God is going to bless you exceedingly abundantly! Whatever circumstances that you are going through now, God knows it from the very beginning and God definitely has a solution to it! Hallelujah! Praise God in advance for all the wonderful works that He's going to do in me!

Thereafter, i also thank God for the time of fellowship with crist just now. No doubt it was only a short period of time, it was, indeed, a fruitful chat-chitting session accompanied with a some window shopping at Daiso, SPOTLIGHT!, LJS, Carrefour etc. Thank God for reconciliation in this friendship! Thank God for kicking it a start! :]

Tomorrow, My Life committee is going to meet up again to do the devotions. I felt bad for turning it down as I've got an appointment already. Perhaps I will drop by in the evening to find them. ><

Till then, I had a wonderful and comfortable day. Back in the past, the moment when I got alone, I would always be feeling uncomfortable and find all means to get myself busy. However, the old 'layhwa' has pass and new 'layhwa' has formed. I can't believe that I could survive without complaining and panicking after waited for crist for so long. I believe that I've got nothing to worry about and even as I know that if I'm physically alone, God is always 24-7 spiritually there for me! :]
Hallelujah~!

2009-03-27T06:16:00.002+08:00

Praise the Lord! It's 6.16am in the morning and I've finally woke up!
I couldn't accept the fact that despite all determination, I still couldn't wake up as preferred timing. Now that I am awaken, I shall plan out my schedule for the day.

Now - 8am
free time.
8am - 10am
Bible reading session with the Lord.
10am - 12noon
Do laundry.
12noon - 1.15pm
Continue Bible reading session with the Lord.
1.15pm - 1.45pm
Preparation to go out.
1.45 - 3pm
Travelling (Read daily devotional message).
3pm Onwards...
Bugis, then Prayer Meeting @ Sherrie's house (:

-FIN- ^-^

2009-03-26T23:42:00.002+08:00

Nothing much has happened today because I've got to stay home the whole day today. But it was indeed a fruitful time spent with the Lord. I began to read upon His Word as I've done for the past few days. God has been a great God! Throughout the whole day, my mind was renewed each time when I read the scripture. There were times when I read through certain scriptures which led me to think even deeper. Praise the Lord! No doubt I tend to ask God alot of questions each time when i came across these "weird" verses, God was great enough to patiently explain to me. :)

Anyway, I really thank God for keeping me at home. At least I can recover the habit of reading bible consistently again. Praise the Lord! Tonight,I am going to cover the book of Joshua! And tomorrow I'll kick start on the book of Judges! :]

No Longer I, but Christ in Me! Whatever circumstances I am in right now, I shall be strong and of good courage for God is with me all the days of my life!
AMEN! :))

2009-03-24T17:56:00.001+08:00

"Fasting in Ramadan" by Alfian Sa'at

God what am I
But a pale copy
Of the true ascetics?
A lesson in humility,
Only under such heat, such thirst,
Does the soul realise
The body is just a mirage.

Forgive me, God, for
Crossing the dates on the calendar,
Numbering thirty days of abstinence;
For observing how much
Temptation surrounds me.
The tap's mouth glisetens even though
It is only my eye that has polished it.

And it is only my longing
That saturates the colour of apples,
That turns a passing scent into form,
Like breaths sculpted in cold weather.

Feasting before dawn.
Each sunrise I fade,
Reduced to a mouth, source
Of desire, of the original sin.
And at each sundown, a glassful of water
Travels down my gullet And turns me solid again:

God, when you breathed life
Into the first man, was that
What answered his craving?
Or did he know then, that
As you fed him, you also gave him
Hunger, a crumb of that world
That you will cast him down into?

2009-03-24T16:32:00.003+08:00

" The winter of death numbs a lover's pain,
The autumn of dreams lies awake in vain,
The summer of life sings its passing song,
And spring comes again... with courage to hope, and go on."

Cool! I got from one of the brochures on my table. It somewhat depicts a scenario of the relations between human emotions and the mother nature's season.

2009-03-20T02:19:00.003+08:00

When You Say You Love Me
By: Josh Groban

Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

[bridge:]
And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

2009-03-19T17:04:00.003+08:00

Ahhh!!! I can't believe it!! It chipped offf!!! ><

2009-03-18T23:45:00.002+08:00

It's the 4th time liao...

Thank God that I've survived and made it through my way to riverwalk. God, I really thank you for healing me when I got black-out today.

*Commonwealth Station*
I knew that I would've fainted in the MRT train just now but mariculous,my body withstand it.. However, my mind and vision totally went blank.. My ears were blocked by pressure and were deaf... I can't breathe easily... I couldn't see... Nor could I hear any conversation those ladies who stood in front of me... I knew that eyes were on me but i just couldn't see... Dizzy spells started to ring and got my head spinning round and round in darkness. Thank God for the hand rail beside me. I felt as though it was His hand, holding on to me...

*Next stop, Red Hill... *
My vision started to recover.. but I was still deaf and couldn't breathe easily... I then grabbed the hand rail with both hands,thinking that my physical body is the only source of energy for me not to collapse.. was still struggling my way to riverwalk... ><

*Outram Park station...*
Finally, i managed to sit for awhile after alighting from train... feeling much better though..But still in the midst of outbreak of cold-sweat.. Then started to stand up and walk over to NEL to Clarke Quay... Black-out strucked the second time.. and I caught myself breathless again.. ><

*Clarke Quay...*
Met sean... Had my first meal of the day after breaking fast. Feeling much better..
But I've simply been horrified by this encounter. I shouldn't be surprise because it isn't the first time but I feared for death... I still have got lots of things yet to accomplish... ><

2009-03-17T15:13:00.002+08:00

*Can't read my...
Can't read my...
No he can't read my POKER FACE!!...
(She's got to love nobody)*

LOLZ.. Nice song~!!! Can't get this song out of my head now.. LOLZ! :]

2009-03-17T01:12:00.004+08:00

From bowen: Isaiah 40:30-31 (NIV)

February 24 (Baptism of Holy Spirit)
1. The baptism of Holy Spirit gives you the power to be an effective witness.
- Jesus expects us to speak in tongues, cast out demons and lay hands on the sick to heal them.
- to move into 'Power evangelism'

2. the baptism of Holy Spirit purifies you
- The fire of the Spirit will burn away whatever that is useless in your life. Only the good will remain and be strengthened.

3. The baptism in the Holy Spirit opens up God's truth and revelation to you.
- been able to quote to scriptures from bible effortlessly
- understand the revelation it contained
- expound it boldly on it to the great multitude

4. Opens the door to the supernatural realm
- 8 spiritual gifts from Holy Spirit

5. Holy Spirit brings divine guidance and order in your life.
- life will be characterized by divine purpose, discipline and structure.

February 25 (Leaders)
- Leaders often has to endure the disparagement of those from his household, with whom he grew up with.
- Tolerate the criticism
- Endure hurtful remarks with the spirit of meekness
- Leader cannot fail
- Couldn't crack up
- Couldn't give up
- Always there to pick up whatever to piece them up
- Can't walk away
- Even though leaders are been personally attacked or betrayed, he/she must keep on forgive and help them.
- Holds the heavy responsibility to see and take care every lives throughout everything.
- Do not lead their sheep into a wrong doctrine
- test the 'fruit' test (Self experience)
- lay down his life for his sheep. (When 1 lost, Jesus would find it until it was found..)

February 26
- We put our trust in the Lord
- We will win the fight PROVIDED if we are willing to fight
- There is no greater fear than fear itself
- God says, " Fear not, for I'M WITH YOU. " (Is 43:5)
- God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. (Eph 3:20)

February 27 (Making a difference)
- Rebellion is a serious attack, not only to Moses, BUT against God himself.
- Simply got to love God and love people.

E.g Aaron
- limited abilities
- marked with public failures
- BUT he caught the fire of compassion...
- stood between the living and the dead
- Made a difference
- God was astonished by His act

2009-03-13T00:41:00.002+08:00

歌曲：像我这样的
艺人：何耀珊

像我这样的
你会不会
来爱我
像我这样的
不够完美洒脱
我为爱前进
梦想路程
却满是伤痕
不愿退缩

Take a look at me
我不松开手
在失意的时候
用音符
唱着我
的美丽哀愁

Take a look at me
吶喊的心头
彷佛再说
黑白对错
微笑面对我的生活

有空就来歇歇脚吧～
曾经有过为梦想
失去选择
也曾走过不被祝福热烈伤痕
到现在我还是我
为爱的执着

Take a look at me
我不松开手
在失意的时候
用音符
唱着我的
美丽哀愁

Take a look at me
吶喊的心头
彷佛再说
黑白对错
微笑面对我的生活
对我来说
简单生活
会是我想要的
结果

2009-03-12T16:10:00.001+08:00

Isaiah 41:9-11 (New International Version)
9 I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

11 "All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.

2009-03-11T01:53:00.005+08:00

As I was reading one of my friend's blog, I kinda understand how he felt when 'He thought he was special'. Not on cat's behavior, but I realized that in order to become his/her special ones, you couldn't assume that you are one, but you got to listen it from that person's mouth. I believe a true confession shall reveal it from his/her mouth rather than spirit-to-spirit connection. (too extreme for me to discern anyway..)

All along, I should've recalled what Vanessa has taught me the other day..
"You think, I thought, then who to confirm??"

Very true about the fact that nothing sets right if no affirmation is made upon you. Just like God's covenant over Noah that He shall not destroy any species kind and shall set rainbow to symbolize His covenant.

I literately hate the fact that people can go against their word even when they say that their word is their bond. I mean, if you're not certain of anything, just come clean. You wouldn't be persecuted by uncertainty, well, at least you tell the truth, right?

God has given us the freedom to makes choices and I have no comments for that because He gave the privilege to me too. However, what do you really meant by freedom of choice? Does that include going against your own words? That's disgusting! You can't even be true to yourself. Then, all the more this kind of person should rely unto God for guidance and HELP!!

Anyway, it's a waste of time for that person as well. I was once asked upon questions about Life. One told me that life is meaningless, at the end, we'll still die, so what's the point of living Life? I agreed that at the end, we'll still die, however, the ending point is not important. What's important is the process of Life. It may seemed dull and bored, but Life is an on-going process. Things change along the way and you might expect miracles and countenance that you've not been through. So, I believe that we should live up the standard of optimism and lead a fruitful life.

Enough said, if not, my bitching and enlightenment session will go on and on and on and I'll turn into a disgusting bitch as well.

Much love,
hwahwa [:

2009-03-06T01:29:00.003+08:00

Why do we get so bounded by pledges, commitment, promise, agreement? What happens if we met another situation which is more loving and caring, to such extent that you can fully entrust your life into and eager to know the future progress? Why is it that alternative solutions are more tempting as compared to the current ones? What happens if we chose to break free from pledges, commitment, promise and agreement and follow our heart? Who is going to benefit? Who is going to get hurt? Who is going to receiving blessings upon blessings upon your decision? Who is going to feel guilty upon decision made? Who is going to bear the consequences?

I thanked God that he gave me the freedom of choice. However, is it really that care-free after all?
I hear people saying that "I would lay down my life, and fully serve you til the ends of the world..." and when that kind of temptation comes and they've fallen short, people then said "Sorry God.. Forgive me.."

Wouldn't it be wise to reject the offer in the first place?

O You wise servant who chose to reject and cling unto God.... Your love sacrifice has been recognized and you shall be blessed for He is the Lord, your God. Amen!

2009-03-05T00:34:00.006+08:00

Today was indeed, yet another fruitful day as I've got through AFV lesson 2. Teacher Darren explained about the Rebellion of Lucifer and so happened that certain pointers nailed my weaker zone.

"Rebellion is the will set in opposition to God! And PRIDE is the strength of sin."

In the beginning, why God create Satan?
- Satan was once an archangels in Heaven over worship. However, Satan thinks that he can overthrone God Almighty, thus, oppose God's power.
- Satan is thus, known as adversary/ opposer
- If God loves us, why did he still release Satan to tempt us?
- God did not control or force us to do things, God gave us the freedom of choice.

Thereafter, there were some issues Teacher Darren brought up just now regarding about Pride. He also shared many case studies during lesson and I realised that I could fit into one of it. oh yea! I remembered, it was CASE 2. It clearly defines my current situation now. I could have been proud and aggrogant towards my emotional thoughts and feelings and totally neglected my soul and body. Consequences of too much "I"? I've experienced it... And it's time to put it to an end.

1John2:16(NASB)
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

Dear God, I pray that you come into my life once again, to restore the vision you had for me. Lord, I don't want to be led away by Satan anymore. I don't want to be led away by sense-less thoughts. God, please help me and pull me out of this misery now...

2009-03-04T01:38:00.000+08:00

Verse of the Day
Isaiah 55:8-9 (New International Version)
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts..."

2009-03-04T00:56:00.003+08:00

I feel that now is really the time for me to move on...

I had enough of all this random nonsense and I want to stop it now! This instant!!
I had enough of been a silly fool, acting blur and innocent..
I had enough of seeing what I don't want to see and I want to re-direct my focus onto some meaningful aim.
I had enough of all the wounds that unknowingly appeared on my legs.
I had enough of those stupid giggles and joy.
I had enough of my foolish craps.
I had enough of dropping hints over and over again when it's inhumane to guess the answer.
I had enough of trying hard to shield myself with different masks.
I had enough of stupid headaches!
I had enough of that darn devil that causes me to be so disgusting.

I am so disgusted by my foolish act and I want to get down to serious business!
I do not want to do the talk without action!
With faith and God's grace, I want to pick myself once again and bear good testimonies to all whom has fallen!
I want to cling unto God I am falling..
I don't want to walk alone but I want to walk side-by-side with Him throughout the valley of darkness.

I was once told by someone that if you're going to depend on your physical strength, you shall perish in no time to come. But, if you cling unto God, with His divine power, He shall protect and strengthens me all time daily! Amen!!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! I'M GOING INSANE NOW!

2009-03-02T17:54:00.003+08:00

Take All Of Me by Hillsong United/More Than Life - Hillsong - United/More Than Life

I love You
All of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life
Take all of me

You broke the night like the sun
And healed my heart with Your great love
Any trouble couldn't bear
You lifted me upon Your shoulders

Love that's stronger
Love that covers sin
And takes the weight of the world

I love You
All of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life
take all of me

You stand upon mountain tops with me
With You I walk through the valleys
You gave Your only Son for me
Your grace is all I rely on

I love You so, and i give up my heart to say
I need You so, my everything
Oh God

2009-03-02T17:13:00.006+08:00

Checking at myself now..

1. a cut on my left knee
2. 2 blue-black wound side by side on my right knee
3. a cut on the side of my left knee
4. a small little scratch on the right leg
5. Eczema condition (never-ending)

gosh... what's wrong with me? How come there are so many cuts and bruise on my legs? How come I cannot feel any pain? Have I been too random to the extent that I can't feel anything now? I pray to God that I'll not hurt anybody with my words.. Senseless thoughts though... Pardon me...

Last night I was just talking to somebody whom i seldom spoke to over the phone and I really thank God for giving me this opportunity to chat with him. No doubt we both live under different circumstances, God managed to bring both of us together that night to talk for almost an hour long. God's miraculous work is wonderful and we should continue to trust in the Lord.

And, I was just talking to some of you guys about going out and sad to say, I am officially broke these days. Sorry for rejecting any meet-ups because once I step out of the house, I got to pay for this and that, transports, foods etc. Whatever you think of.. I got so troubled with spending and sometimes I just feel like locking myself at home and play safe. But I know that it's not going to work at all. God is really is a funny person and when He speaks of something to be done, none of us can stop Him to proceed.

hmmz.. what else? Oh yea.. I've once again screwed up last week's service duty. I thought that I can manage and was really calm at that time.. But it seemed that all hell broke loose and I was shaken.. I believe that I've not really encouraged my Alpha ushers and screwed up everything again.. *sighz*... what a loser... *big L on my forehead*

1 Timothy 3:1-10, The Message
If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, good! But there are preconditions: a leader must be well-thought -of, committed to his wife, cool and collected, accessible, and hospitable. He must know what he's talking about, not be overfond of wine, not pushy but gentle, not thin-skinned, not money-hungry. He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect. For if someone is unable to handle his own affairs, how can he take care of God's church?

The same goes for those who want to be servants in the church: serious, not deceitful, not too free with the bottle, not in it for what they can get out of it. they must be reverent before the mystery of the faith, not using their position to try to run things. Let them prove themselves first. If they show they can do it, take them on.

2009-03-02T15:12:00.002+08:00

Alright!! I've bought MYSELF AVF book..
I'm really looking forward to the next lesson on Wednesday, Riverwalk @ 7.30pm.

So, anybody wanna join me?? hahahahaahaha... ^-^

Date Due: 4th March 2009
Time: 7.30pm
Venue: Riverwalk, L2

2009-03-01T00:51:00.004+08:00

Fastest Finger First!!!

Anybody wanted to bless ME with an AVF bible study book? Hwahwa is really looking forward to next lesson. But she'll cry if she's going without a book AGAIN!

Date due: 1st March 2009
Due Time: 6pm

Fastest Finger First!!!

2009-02-28T01:01:00.002+08:00

Wow.... Yesterday was yet another tiring day.. And I mean PHYSICALLY TIRED! My back is aching!! AHH!!

Anyway, I went down to expo with crist in assistance to arrange the chairs transported from Hall 8. Well, the terrrace chairs was laid way before we came in yesterday. Praise the Lord for saving us some breath! But then again, it was yet another challenging task for us to arrange chairs on the floor. We got to take note of the alignment which I had been so familiar by then and the neatness of every individual rows.

There I was perspiring like a sponge been squeezed.. I thought to myself, " Aiyoo... Why do we have to arrange until that straight? Just roughly gage the alignment lor~.." Then God began to remind me that we got to be specific in everything we do for the Lord. God is a meticulous person and we should serve with our very best, even if it's just moving chairs. God is a perfect God and we should strive to live a Godly life like Him.

Anyway, on the way back home, I then realised that I've actually stood for 5hours straight without sitting! WoW... No wonder I'm having backaches now... *God, please heal me... later I'm still on service duty.. God, give me strengthen to carry on for the rest of the days..*

Anyway, that's all for today... My back is seriously aching like nobody's businesss... *sob sob*

Dear God, thank U for this day that I can serve you once again. Lord, even if it's just arranging chairs, Lord, I don't want to be half-hearted. Lord, I know that you're there for me and nothing shall be against me. Thank U for chasing away all the tiredness throughout the whole day. Lord, even as I continue to seek you face-to-face each day, Lord, you'd began to bless in specific areas of my needs. Lord, I lift up my B.S lesson into your hand, Lord, I pray that you'll bless me with an AVF book so that I'll not have to borrow other people's book and fully concentrate on You. Lord, I trust in You and I love You... In Jesus's Name, AMEN! :))

2009-02-27T01:58:00.002+08:00

I feel like I'm an idiot, waiting for someone to come to me and said, "Oh, layhwa, you don't know this, I just thought of you in my mind.." *blush..* I guess it's time for me to move on and get my hands, my butts, my nose, my eyes, my whatever useful organ into serious work and stop thinking non-sensical thoughts. Stupid me of wasting my time away, waiting for an uncertain result. MOVE ON hwahwa! Life's great with GOD! AMEN! maybe I should be the one telling that person I misses him.. hehehehe.. Darling~... :P

These days has been a hectic moment for me, perhaps everybody in My Life's committee. We met up almost once a week to do up the daily devotional, My Rhema, song sheet etc. Yea, though we met obstacles and disagreements and perhaps mistakes after printing out the final draft, what matters most is the bonding and love we've created upon each other. I love everybody and most importantly, I love GOD for putting us together!
P.S to committee: Really appreciate your efforts guys! Let's jia you and stop putting blames on yourself coz we work AS A TEAM! AMEN! ^0^

These days, I felt that God has been reminding me about developing and maintaining good relationship with each other. Just like what Sharon has shared about the story of Mary and Martha, Martha was all-time busy serving the Lord and totally forgotten that what matters most is the intimate relationship with Him. Yea, God sees your fervent heart that you really want to serve Him but like what Wanyun shared during leader's meeting as well, you can never lead your disciples when you have no insights of their life. Simple to put, you have no connections with them. I really believe that through genuine fellowship and quality time spend for each other develops genuine relationship. By the time when failure or discomfort sets in, you can simply sense it. All you need is to be open and willing to share. I am willing to spend quality time with you, sharing some secrets with you, but are you willing?

Authority For Victory (AFV)'s first lesson was fantastic! I was totally blown away by just the mere first lesson! It talks about Spiritual Warfare. God is our strong warrior, He is also a good fighter! When God created us, He wouldn't exempt us from evil. In fact, He planned our life to be run in this way. Definitely in life, we would face that darn devil. We may feel threaten by devil's force but it is also, at the same time, that we got to be spiritually prepared! We may not win through our physical defense,but spiritually, God helps us to defend and fight with the devil! Don't ever think that God is a fighter, thus He's scary. NO WAY! The reason why God fights for us is because He loves us more than anything else. In John 3:16, God gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to sacrifice on the cross so as to cleanse and redeem us. God's love for us is unconditional and I'm really glad that I've found Him. God is really an excellent role of example for us to let us know the importance of LOVE. Let's be genuine towards each other despite the fact that devil's going to come in and destroy our faith and trust for each other! :))

And I can't wait for time to pass so that I can meet my friends again to fellowship with them! I'm heading to expo later(27Feb09)... SMS me @ 91170802 if you're heading there too! Let's meet up for dinner! :D

2009-02-25T01:51:00.002+08:00

The time is 1.23am and surprisingly I’m still awake. Praise the Lord that I can still hang on to this moment. My eyes grow weary and tired each minute ticks and my vision is getting blunter and blunter but still, I wanna try blogging my thoughts out.. (Although I know that it’s impossible to write out 100% correctly..)

Anyway, I came to realisation that I’ve actually stayed in NAFA for more than 10 hours. I’ve not done such a thing to my own school! That’s awesome.. hahaha.. I try to laugh.. But I can’t bring myself to laugh genuinely anymore. I tried to smile brightly when laughter falls into place. After that every second, I’m back to normal. It’s easy to put on a fake smile but it’s equally easy to drop the arch off that cheek. I wondered who will notice my face when I performance magic… they should present me an award for been able to change my face that fast…

As I was doing My Life’s daily devotional in photo-shop, it may seem that I’m really concentrative in my work. But you can’t see what’s inside my mind. Hallelujah for God’s creation… Only the creators get to see what others don’t. too bad.. so sad… lalalalalala… If you want to know, ask me lots of questions and spend some quality time with me. One-on-one basis. No outsider intrusion. You might get 70% of my fruits.

Many said that Dixon has a weird kinda approach.. hahaha.. I agree to that too but I have no issues with that, in fact, sometimes when I need such crazy craps to bring me away from deep thoughts, he has successfully done so.. Thanks for sharing his crappy-ness and ‘joy’.

-FIN-

2009-02-23T03:32:00.002+08:00

Now listening: Take All of Me by Hillsongs United..

" Jesus Christ, take my life, take all of me..."

How i really yearn and cry out to God....
Day and night, I cry out from you, O Lord...

I love You so...
And I give all my heart to say...
I NEED YOU HERE... MY EVERYTHING.... O LORD...

O God, hear my cry.. My soul cries out to You.. Can you hear me???
God, I don't want to be where I am now.. It's terrible.. It's painful... Get me out of this state now.. I no longer want to put on that fake smile.. I want to my genuine.. I want to be genuine towards to my action.. I want to be spiritually discerning... Oopen my heart if that is the only to see how my heart bleeds badly now... O Lord, pls down load my weigh of stress and confusion and up load new vision and goals. God, i am not satisfied of where I am now! Get ME OUT OF THIS PLACE NOW!!

I need You, Lord...
Come, please, come to me....

2009-02-19T02:50:00.001+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Being Alone While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.
Losing Someone
Disappointment
Where Your life is Going
Looked down on
Commitment
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-02-16T20:22:00.004+08:00

Well, It's time to blog... >.< If not, it's going to be rusty...

Anyway, these days I've got myself quite involved in the CG.. Shaun has chosen some of us in CG to be My Life's committee and I'm one of them. I feel that through such arrangement, God has really open doors of opportunity for me to bond very well with my member and I really thanked God for that. So, one particular day before SMS-ing Yong Hui about my decision, I begin to pray about my calling AGAIN. It seemed that my initial calling might be making a dial to another receiver... hmmz.. How should I put it?

I began to commit myself more into CG and I really enjoy doing every single task given. No doubt I screwed up some task and got harsh feedback, I didn't hold grudges because I know that I'm learning something and I was,indeed, in the wrong to produce another thing. I began to be able to learn alot, and soon enough, through these period of working together with CG, my bonding with them gets stronger. My faith level had also begun to rise. Just last Friday, God began to move my heart and i shared a short rhema word to the CG during worship.. It was tremendous.. This was my first time..... It was,indeed, really a breakthrough for me!

At the same time, Crist also began to challenge me to join Logis department. Yong Hui even asked about it but I told him to give me some time to consider first. I hesitated for a moment. I was confused of which way to go.. Reflecting back on my progress in ministry, I believe that I've risen up well to become an IC. However, everything seemed to be at pause for a moment while I can still see others rising up so quickly. What's wrong with me? Have I not progressing well? Do I still have the ability to shoulder heavier responsibility? Am I starting to focus on other stuff already? have my calling been changed to....?

Yesterday, I did something..
I've finally SMS-ed Yong Hui back about my consideration of been a part of Logistic Department from Usher ministry.
I don't know if I've done the right thing but like what I told Crist in the earlier SMS, I'm all-time ready, just that I need some strong affirmation...
Anyway, no harm giving it a try.. but no guarantee that I'll root myself in ministry..
Well, I shall wait and see what's the outcome..

"Dear God, please reveal yourself to me.. Show me your light that guides me to your calling... God, I don't want to stay in the midst of confusion. God, I pray that you began to direct me... Holy spirit, I pray that you allow to be so sensitive towards your small voice... "

2009-02-12T11:14:00.003+08:00

haha.. I've just came back from morning prayer meeting. God has really strengthen my physical body to wake up everyday so early to attend morning prayer meeting. Today's the 4Th day of prayer meeting, so far, I've only missed out yesterday's evening prayer meeting. Anyway, it is not about the attendance but the genuine heart matters.
Each morning as I wake up, I thank God that I'm still alive to praise your name,almighty high! ^-^

2 days ago, as I was serving for evening prayer meeting, I met this congregation. She approached me to enquire about how to obtain the stamps she missed out. I was like telling her that she can get those stamp from the receptionist after PM. But she seemed inconvinced by my words. I mean, come on, does all those stamps more important than coming to church to pray, to see God face to face and to saturate into His presence once again? You tell me then...

I really believe that even as God sees our genuine heart, our genuine cry out to the Lord, God would just began to bless us so abundantly in the areas of our need. This morning, I was pressing very hard into His presence. No doubt I managed to flow, however, most of the time I was either distracted by my works, worries or simply side-tracked. What's wrong with me?? I also don't know. Songs like Sanctuary, God of my forever has really touched my heart back then when I was emotionally down. God brought me out of misery through His promise. I'll never forget His love..

I pray to God that lord you began to show yourself to me, that you come into my heart and cause me to be so sensitive towards Holy spirit. Day and night, I cry out to you O Lord, I want more of you Lord...

In all my life
Be glorified
With Christ in me
No longer I

So take my all
consuming fire
Your light in me
I'll let it shine...

2009-02-12T10:33:00.002+08:00

Charles Darwin's relationship with his children...

"However hard my father was at work, we certainly never restrained ourselves in our romps about the house, and I should certainly have thought that the howls and screams must have been a great annoyance; but we were never stopped." "Charles and Emma's approach with their children was undemanding and liberal; they saw little value in discipline and learning by rote, but wanted to encourage their children to think for themselves." "Our father and mother would not even wish to know what we were doing or thinking unless we wished to tell." But if one of the children did want to tell, Charles would make them feel that their opinions and thoughts were valuable to him. "He cared for all our pursuits and interests, and lived our lives with us in a way that very few fathers do ... He always put his whole mind into answering any of our questions."

A lovely father I would look upon and give my fullest respect to..

2009-02-06T13:58:00.002+08:00

emo one corner liao... >.<

*drawing circle.... soon it's gonna be anti-clockwise...and clockwise.. and anti-clockwise... *

2009-02-05T13:40:00.003+08:00

I did something crazy yesterday... Check it out! :P

4 Strands... Wahahaha!! ^-^

2009-02-04T13:48:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went out with Crist and Cheryl... Awww... so missed cheryl.. Haven't been seeing for quite some time after that home visit.

We went to BBDC to help cheryl in registration for basic theory test.. Crist also went over to top up her account. Then I happened to notice this service assistant's hair.. Super nice!! She extended her hair with different tones of brown color to match her hair... so nice.. But I don't want brown, I want bright red, striking color so that my hair will stand out.. hehehehe...

After that, because cheryl cannot stay out too long, so she went back home first.. then Crist and I went to Serangoon for a walk. After that, at about 8 plus, I went home.. To my surprise, I saw May-o-thin and Jasmine!! Long time no see.!! Kinda miss them though...

Then May-O-Thin was like telling me that she has been posted to RP..SAME SCHOOL!!! hehehe... Then I realized that not just her, people like Zhao Jun, cheryl,Crist and other people is also aiming for RP. Hurray!! More familiar faces!! Next time we can meet up for lunch in school!!! Yippie.. :D

Anyway, aside from what i've gone through the whole day, I also took an effort to read up on the daily devotional message by Pastor Kong.. I really thank God for self-discipline. Normally during holiday I would slack around, doing nothing unproductive. Tentatively, I would be distracted by other things, and here I go again... trying hard to rebel and question alot....

To say that I'm a pure thinker is impossible but still, i have a brain and I see things about me and I would start to question. Even as I'm typing now, in my mind, I still think lots of things and wonder why....

If nobody's going to give me an answer, I'll change from the normal self to another question-beast... :P

Anyway, I still haven't read up today's daily devotional message.. Some more, i might be going out later... hmmmz... maybe I should stay up tonight and pray... ...

To Jermaine: God sees your genuine effort for praying for your uncle.. 节哀顺变...

To Crist: Let's 加油 to find a better hair salon to extend our hair.. :)

To T.C.S: HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!!!!! !!!! !!!!! !!!!!! :D

2009-01-31T23:08:00.006+08:00

Apparently, I've, once again, screwed up my day... !>.<

*beep beep beep*... " You're Alpha IC. " --> Time: 9++am. Date: 31th Jan 09

What have I done wrong?

1. Preparation of briefing notes

Thank God for crist's smart idea, Zone Briefing Notes Template. As soon as I received my allocation, I quickly referred to the template for help. Thank God that most of the important pointers are recorded down. However, I believe that there are more to add on and it shall be as detailed as possible so that misterpretation/ assumption can reach to its minimum.

2. Support

Everything went positive... We did more than enough... We completed our service quantity in 45min and even did half for Sunday's service... *Pad Pad on layhwa's shoulder* Well done... :)

3. Briefing to Alpha Ushers

I assumed that I've read out all the pointers to take note of in my briefing notes. Perhaps i was my fault that i did not empathsize certain very important elements such as Offering sequences, the responsibility implanted to us, the accountability aftermath, insipirational motivation to Alpha usher etc...

4. Allocations for Alpha Usher

I did ask them whether if anybody is serving Alpha the first time. I could have missed out other importants questions beside first time serving... My fault for been stumbled at that moment. *Head aches... *

5. Offering Buckets

A2 (13 Buckets)
I think that panic has stroke me at the back of my dumb dumb brain... After collecting A2 first row, I eventually thought that I'm still a zone usher and happily collected A2 bucket. Worse still, I feel that sometimes when I panic, I couldn't think properly... On my left ear, congregation called out for me to collect buckets. On the right ear, my beloved security brother kept pinpointing which buckets has yet to be collected. And my 2eyes are literately staring at Koong Fai.. *SOS signal* After so much confusion and also due to time contrain, I brought up whatever bucket that is on hand without counting it. By the time when I reach OCP 2, I've got 10 buckets only.. Youmei took 1 bucket. Ben came in with 1 bucket.. so..
10+1+1=12??? Where is another 1? Shit!!!!!!! Sound console...!! >.< " I'm so scared now.. I think my buckets doesn't tally... "

6. Mental preparation

I should've prayed before hand... I turned up unprepared. So, what makes you think that your ushers would do well when their IC cannot even get a hold of themselves? It doesn't make sense, right?

*Alright, this is my self-reflection on today's duty. I felt that I've done bad. I've not live up to the level of excellence and should deserve all disciplining.

2009-01-31T02:31:00.002+08:00

Just a minute ago, I paused myself from thinking and realized that the reason why my pathetic mind has been so congestive these days...
I think i'm suffering from massive migraines.... to the extent that I don't even know. To the extent that the pain has numbed my brain to stop me from thinking approperiately temporarily.

I need resolution. I need medication.... Any one? Please help me... I'm dying...

2009-01-29T14:09:00.002+08:00

"The workers who are returning home to tell their husbands and wives and children that they no longer have a job, and all those who live in fear that their job will be next on the cutting blocks, they need help now." Barack Obama said.

If Barack Obama, newly elected US president, can say such a thing to the public, what's more for Singapore? I think we should really persevere on despite economic recession came crashing in such a short period. To those companies who had retrenched their workers, they should repent. :P To those who retain their workers but cut down their salaries, please forgive our anguish.

逼于无奈...

2009-01-28T00:26:00.004+08:00

不值得
歌手：阿强
专辑：此情可待

除了想你除了爱你
hu ~我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记整理心情
hu ~我真的真的想放弃
你始终没有爱过
你在敷衍我
一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心
无力继续
这感情不值得我犹豫
不值得我考虑
不值得我爱过你
这种回忆不值得我提起
不值得想起不值得哭泣
ha~这段感情早就应该放弃
早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你不值得我恨你
不值得我为你而坏了心情
ha~我决定不为你而毁了心
放弃爱你

[白]我决定:放弃你

bu zhi de - Dreamz FM

2009-01-22T12:18:00.002+08:00

Since i'm having break in school now, let's talk about what we've done yesterday...

Yesterday was yet another normal school day for me. However, in the midst of mandune routine, I realised that this week shall be the last moment I'm going to spend with my classmates. Thinking back of how I depart away from my last semester's buddy, I still feel that this bunch of people I'm hanging out with is much better. :) I simply love playing and joking with them..

Despite the fact that guys are always guys and that they are vulgar, somehow in a way or another, I wouldn't mind. Because of their silliness, it brings joy and live to W34L. :D

Anyway, 1 more day to my holiday... I should be rejoicing but just don't know why my frown suddenly reveal... Worried about what?? I also don't know... Perhaps I'm still doing up my holiday plan so that it will not gone to waste like it was back in Nov-Dec2007.

Should I go find a part-time job? If I were to find one, which one should I sign up for? An admin position in office? A waitress in restuant? I don't mind... A factory worker/packer? I heard from the agent that there isn't any vacanies for us, especially women.. What the heck....-.-"
*If you have any job opportunity, please contact me!! Urgent!! Thanks!! ^-^

Anyway, I'm going off to watch my movie now.. Oh yea, Thanks Joshi for sending me lots of movie so that I can watch and kill time.. But where's my Ponyo Ponyo Ponyo??? I'm still waiting!!! >.<

Ciaos~ Sweet love to all! ("V")("V')

2009-01-21T00:15:00.002+08:00

haha... Don't know what's going on... These days I've been feeling sleepy... think I know the reason why... It's all Lee Bum Soo's fault!!! heeheee...
But anyway, I've successfully watched finished my Korean drama series and was highly motivated to take up Korean language.
Anybody knows where to register for korean lessons? Please contact me or tag on board.. Thanks! ^-^

These days I've been thinking alot. And for the first time after a long period of break, i prayed to God. I told God that I don't want to care any more. I just to spend as much time with my loved ones as possible. Day by day, seeing them aging, health deteriorating, i couldn't do anything much but to cry. Sometimes I felt abit useless in somebody's eye to the extent that I couldn't even face him while talking. To see them suffering from illnesses is equivalent to stabbing my heart. I don't know what I'm trying to say but all I want is to just love and cherish them to the end.

"I promise that I will not force you to accept whatever thing you don't like. You may live your life in full control. You may do whatever you want... with 1 condition, please promise me that you would protect your health and stop inflicting pain... I don't want to lose you because I care for you..."

2009-01-13T00:55:00.007+08:00

Alright, it's 12.55 am now. I guess all of us has received their O level results.... Some cried, not the tears of joy but.... Some rejoice for hard work! Anyway, I just wanna congratulate ALL O level students and private candidate for pulling through until the end. I understand that certain results may not be came out as what you were aiming for, DON'T BE DISHEARTEN!! There are still other choices available for you.

Take my beloved nu er as an example, she is, indeed, a strong galz... Despite adverse results,she finally realized that her calling in studies is actually in F&B sector.. Praise the Lord for revealing His great vision for you~! ^-^

As I was traveling to Funan this evening, I started to re-minish those days of intensive/non-intensive revision. I remembered I didn't revise well for my prelim paper and got back a piece of shit home... I dare not to show my mum but she insisted asking me. So, I told her about my result. That was the first time I felt so deeply disappointed in myself. Seeing my mum working so hard to earn that money to sponsor and yet my laziness spoils it all.. Haiz..

Anyway, move on dude!!! Life is never a bed of roses... Whatever challenges that may be, come as you are!! Bring it on!! :)

2009-01-12T00:43:00.004+08:00

At last, My brother finally returned me my lap top! Thanks ah...

Anyway, before hitting the sack tonight, I thought maybe I should blog something. To be honest, lots of things actually happened these days but I didn't managed to blog it. Sorry about that, it was either I am too tired or too lazy to do so. However, every events does create an impact in my heart,at least it triggers a tick on my heart, I can feel it...

Just a minute ago, I happened to browse some of my friend's photo. It seemed like it was all taken from a group event which i think I should be in the photo. However, I just don't know why my face wasn't there. It puzzled me and I took a while to spare a thought...

Ever since I'm attached, my whole life has 180 degree changed. Thank God for blessing me a partner whom I can turn to when I'm feeling low. A veyr good supporter and lovely, caring man...

All things has gone well... Too well that sometimes I feel that if i look at another angle, it can become a boundary, a restriction which i've chosen to bind myself from... It's hard to dechiper my thoughts, if you can understand that sentence, Congratulations! You can read my mind...

In life, there are many angles we can view from a situation. Some angle can give us the optimum view we desire to aim,however, you would also,at the same time, discover some angle which are badly produced. You hardly can see any hope for such an angle to produce light. And tentatively, it will be eliminated. How sad...

It's hard to accept the fact that you got to hit a breakeven in every situation in life. Don't forget,there's grey spot. Can you spot it?

Standing in the middle of the lever can be of 2 outcome; you are save from falling or you are at risk if you make any move. So how? We can't just sit there and do nothing, right? We'll die of starvation/boredom/dehydration/sickness/mentally disorder... Whatever you can think of...

Just imgaine Person A carrying bags of worries, sorrows, stresses, unhappiness and disappointment. When he makes a move, the possibility of getting him down straight to the ground is relatively high. He's gonna kill himself. However, Person B carrying bags of happiness and hope will have the possibility to sustain on the panel... Which type of person would you wanna be? A or B? I don't know....

2009-01-11T02:46:00.002+08:00

Shout To The Lord - Hillsong

My Jesus, My Savior
Lord there is none like You
All of my days
I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love

My Comfort, My Shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath
And all that I am
Never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord
All the earth
Let us sing
Power and majesty
Praise to the King
Mountains bow down
And the seas will roar
At the sound of Your Name

I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love you
Forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You

My Jesus, My Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days
I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love

Your my comfort (My comfort)
And my shelter(My Shelter)
Your my Tower of refuge and strength
let every breath
All that I am
Never cease to worship you

2009-01-09T09:01:00.002+08:00

Lo Hwei Yen's chilling last seconds before execution

According to the transcript, one of the two attackers at the Nariman House Jewish cultural centre was told: "Brother, you have to fight. This is a matter of prestige of Islam.

"Fight so that your fight becomes a shining example. Be strong in the name of Allah... Brother, you have to fight for the victory of Islam. Be strong."

A separate call added: "Keep in mind that the hostages are of use only as long as you do not come under fire because of their safety.

"If you are still threatened, then don't saddle yourself with the burden of the hostages, immediately kill them."

The caller went on: "If the hostages are killed, it will spoil relations between India and Israel."

An attacker replied: "So be it, God willing."

Five hostages, including a rabbi and his wife, were later found dead with the two militants.

What the heck is this? God didn't ask us to fight violently against His own creation. I thought God wanted us to love one other....?