Believe In Your Heart..

Time flies...

I've once said this before, the earth is globalizing and rotating, so do we. Words can stand firm,still and dull but my heart move with the emotional wavelength...

A lot of things has been changing and I finally came into a realization that it is time for me to wake up. The earth the rotating, people will change, they come and leave anytime... Unexpected or expected... I finally brought myself to tear... When i can tear, it's a no-good news.

Dear God,

Can i be mischievous? Just for once... Stop making people come and go so easily... You making me crying now... God, is it happy to see me crying?

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
12:20 AM

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人之初性本善..("v")("v")
1:55 AM

I'm going on a retreat staring from this second onwards..

This world has been a chaotic world.

But isn't surprising enough to heard that you can seek beauty in chaos?

My life has been turning upside down. I'm trying to get everything in order now, my emotions, my discipline and attitude.

Till then,

Cheers.

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
12:10 AM

Talking about eternity, who else can be compared with God?

I was reviewing this movie, Exorcism Of Emily Rose, this afternoon...

This movie is based on true story. It is not an edited version, i supposed. I was once again, amazed and enlightened by the defender's lawyer who was once an agnostic. Her round-up conclusion was so impacting, at least it somewhat convinced me. Yes, you can say that theoretical words and report are facts and nothing could go against facts. However, it is absolutely a big NO. It is untrue. In whatever things we do, we got to place a certain percentage of possibility that something else could have happened. I believe that there is no 100% certainty of which scientific facts can be applied towards supernatural explanation. There might have some external forces that is affecting it. You cannot see it but you can sense it, just like how Pastor Moore's lawyer felt during that period of trial prosecution.

Maybe it is challenging to form words to describe that kind of experience. I supposed it applies to all of us. Sometimes unfavorable situation could have occurred and you just don't know how you can describe to others. You knew it the best. God knew it too. That is why people would turn to God because only God knows it as well as you. He understand how you feel and He does care for you. In the bible, it is written that God is Love. God so love the world that He begotten His beloved Son, Jesus, to die on the cross. Do you believe it?

Anyway, God also, at the same time, gave us free choices. Nobody's going to force you to join the religious group. Nobody's going to force you to believe Him. You shall decide for yourself.

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
12:52 AM

I've exposed my true identity...

I shall let God handle my decision.

I will not push away any chrisma opportunity...

I will not stand and wait blindly for miracle...

I will not be timid to make a step of faith...

I will move on...

When I've done my best, God sees it and He will handle the rest...

I trust in You, Lord...
I believe that You are my strength...
I believe you are my Jehovah Jireh, God my provider...

I cast my burden, fears,indecisiveness, dilemma and negative thoughts to You...
Lord, bless me according to Your riches...
As I began to place trust in You, You too, hears my prayer and bless according...

I love You, God...

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
12:42 AM

Talking about sense of belonging in a group...

Is it really true to give in your ego, pride and self-ness so that you can feel that you are part of the group? Is 'giving in' the right word to use? Why do people approach others rather than you?

"Treat others as you would want others to treat you. "

It is not that I've always been seated at a corner and heck care, I've tried but situation just go against me. I'm tried. Why not you come to me?

I've realized that been alone is no longer a problem to me. I feel perfectly alright now... Is this a bad sign? I don't know... Does longing for sense of belonging a good sign? I don't know. I've tried. Why not you just come to me?

I'm tired.

I shall apologize in advance if ever should I neglected your kindness. Hope you can understand my feeling.

Be patient to me... However, being patient doesn't meant to leave me alone but keep talking to me. 'Shake' me awake so that I can respond to you. Don't give up on me...

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
9:41 PM

life sucks... Family sucks.. Nobody understands me... Nobody understanding my feeling and my thought. I CURSE those who doesn't understand me. I CURSE those who thinks that I had no feeling for my loved ones. I CURSE those who thinks that I'm an extra and an burden to carry.

I CURSE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
6:33 PM

Do Not Judge the book by its cover...

Do Not Judge an emotion by its face...

Do Not Presume Every thing's Alright...

Open Your mouth And Ask...

Do Not Claim Other People's Experience As Yours...

Do Not...

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
4:54 PM

10 October 2008 was a friday. As usual, I had my cell group meeting at Bowen's place and really enjoyed a time of preaching by Shaun. That day's message was about "God Is My Provider".We were given the sermon handout. So, as i read through, I left that this message could be applicable to somebody out there.

Philippians 4:19

" And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

It is true that God is our provider and He will fulfill every promise with 1 condition attached. It is just like " There is a premise for every promise."

You might think that God is just as cunning as anybody because He ask of you to fulfill that condition. However, I felt that it is very easy to fulfill that condition. You don't even have to be crucified like what Jesus did for you.

That condition is just plainly trusting Him with all your heart, mind and soul. That simple.

Matthew 9:29

"According to your faith let it be to you."

So which faith am I referring to right now? It's super obvious. You know...

Furthermore, we learned about 4 most common test in Life (4P):

The Pressure Test

" How Do I handle stress?"

- Will I depend on myself... or will I depend on God?

- It's just like you dug your own well for survival, and you think that you can help quench your thirst just merely by your well? Totally impossible!

- Relying on physical being alone is as tiring as you can ever imagine. That is why we should rely unto God. (Matt 11:28)

- Ps 50:15

“Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.” (P.S: Specially for Crist…

The People Test

“How Will I handle disappointment?”

- Disappointment comes when people cannot meet your expectation.

- People are not perfect… they will let you down. (P.S: Crist, you’ve finally affirmed your words!)

- Deep satisfaction cannot be made by human but by God!

- God is a good God and He fulfils your needs.

- Jeremiah 17:7

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD.”

The persistence Test

“Will I keep my commitments?”

-E.g. in relationship terms, God’s word, in whatsoever circumstances etc.

-When you genuinely love somebody, action will be done willingly! Even if things turn out negative, God will still switch it to positive!

-Ecclesiastic 8:5

“The wise man will find a time and a way to do what he says.”

The Priority Test

“Who/What will be first in my life?”

3 questions to ask yourself today...

I. What do I think about the most?

II. Where does my money go first?

III. How do I spend my time?

Matthew 6:33

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these shall be added to you.”

Your answer will reveal the priorities in your life. Don’t tell me it is not important because if isn’t, you won’t want to even bother to spare a thought and think.

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
12:48 AM

I was reading one of my friend's blog and I was like, " Huh?? "
He wrote about the weather these days and the happy moment he had when he was young. The climax was at ease when suddenly he said that it's time to stop all this happy entry, back to emo shit la~

I was like, " Huh?? Is it a duty to be emo? Why can't you just be of your own and be genuine and be true to yourself? When you're happy, just smile and appreciate! throw away whatever emo-thought you have and just plainly enjoy your happiness!! DUDE!"

Really can't stand such people. I know life been sucky all these while but should you ever have the chance to experience happiness, even if it's just a short 10 minutes, give your full-heart plus emotion to really enjoy it! Who knows, you might, unknowingly, brightens up other person's day. You couldn'y predict unforseen circumstance. So just let it run...

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
1:22 PM

I am so freaking worried about my diet. I suspected that I am suffering from eating disorder. It has been confirmed that it is neither Aneroxia Nervosa nor Bulimia Nervosa. The highest possibility which i could have been suffering from is Compulsive Overeating...

I've gradually started to get so turn off while chewing on my food, thinking in my mind that when will I ever finish this piece of waffle? I felt so fat when I started gorging a small piece of food. How I wish I could just stop eating...

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
8:20 PM

Oh gosh.. It's 1.18am now and I'm still awake.

I've just completed my revision notes for Science understanding test later. I could roughly understand. Well, it's at least better than don't know anything...

And yes.. My tummy is aching badly.

Guess I'm having gastric pain now.

I was telling sean that I am hungry and wanted to eat now (middle of night)

He warned me to watch my diet.

I asked, " Do you think I have eating disorder? I couldn't identify this illness by myself because it is impossible for me to identify."

So... How??

so pain now...

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
1:19 AM

The time now is 2.07am, 6 October 2008.

An hour and 7 minutes ago was Thomas's birthday. A few of us like elaine, sean, Veron and myself have celebrated his birthday. Thomas was delighted as all of us are gathered and celebrated his big day. People whom I told that I had appointment yesterday was actually this appointment I am referring to. It came no surprised to me when people are shock of not knowing Thomas's birthday. It goes to show that they are not interested in what's going on with his life. So long as I can be with him, I couldn't be bothered of what others did.

P.S : Happy Birthday Darling...

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
2:08 AM

恋におちて

moshimo negai ga kanau nara
toiki wo shiroi bara ni kaete
aenai hi ni wa heyajuu ni
kazarimashou anata wo omoinagara

Darling, I want you aitakute
tokimeku koi ni kakedashisou na no
maigo no you ni tachisukumu
watashi wo sugu  ni todoketakute

* DAIYARU mawashite te wo tometa
I’m just a woman
Fall in love

If my wishes can be true
Will you change my sighs to roses,
Whiter roses decorate them for you
Thinkin' 'bout you every night and
find out where I am
I am not livin' in your heart
 Darling, I need you doushitemo
kuchi ni dasenai negai ga aru no yo
Doyou no yoru to Nichiyou no anata ga itsumo hoshii kara

* repeat

Darling, you love me imasugu ni
anata no koe ga kikitaku naru no yo
ryoute de hoho wo osaetemo
tohou ni kureru yoru ga kirai

* repeat

Don't you remember
When You were here
without a thinking
We were caught in fire
I've got a love song but Where it goes
three loving hearts are pullin' apart of one
Can't stop you, Can't hold you
Can't wait no more
I'm just a woman fall in love
I'm just a woman fall in love

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
2:08 PM

China covered up milk scandal to protect Olympics: critics

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
11:12 AM

2 days ago, it was raining cats and dogs. I was on the bus 334 when I saw this on the window panel.. It was actually water stream flowing down from rooftop. The pattern of the water stream can depicts several significance. From my point of view, this photo depicts confusion we encounter in life. You know that the clearer picture is always hidden at the back of everything, it is only when a person explore deeper and understand the meaning attached to it, then he/she would get to see the clearer picture rather than the blur & useless image.

往往我们只看表面而没真的去了解背中的意义。。致到我们发现背中意义，大有可能已太晚了。。

值得吗？

人之初性本善..("v")("v")
10:41 AM